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Health Guide

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Poetry & Prayer

A Woman's Poem

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


A Man's Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
Amen.


A Small Problem

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''
Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!''
''How!?!?!?'' she asks.
''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''
''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.
''They should expand over the years,'' he answers.
''How did you know that?'' she wonders.
''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'''


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   Always keep in mind to:
  1. Spend less than you earn! People who spend every penny they make usually end up going broke.......
  2. Take enough risk on the money you save! Playing safe by putting your money under the mattress or in a savings account will not make you wealthy..

Remember that..... Fully one-fifth of humanity, some 1.3 billion people, struggles to survive on less than $1 per day. About 40% of humanity survives on less than $2 per day. More than a billion people around the world will go to bed hungry tonight. Life expectancy in some 32 countries is less than 40 years. If you have a few extra dollars in your pocket (you don't have to be a millionaire to make a difference), please share some of your financial good fortune with others who are in great need.


Think About It...  Being in the 'now' brings a freedom, unlike living in the past or in the future, which is a kind of imprisonment. This isn't a kind of a denial where you pretend life doesn't have problems. Life is full of problems, but most of those stresses and failures are reliving old hurts or worrying about future concerns. -- Carl Honore

When you 're diagnosed with cancer, you start to bargain with God: "Let me get through this, and I'll take better care of myself. I'll get my priorities in order. I'll learn to live every day to the fullest." Isn't it sad that you have to get sick before giving yourself permission to live life to the fullest? -- Robert Schimmel Look at Life in different & Positive ways