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Quotations on Opposite Sex

  • Sex is not easy. Women have two types of orgasms. The actual one and the ones that they make up on their own. I can give you the male point of view on this, which is, we're fine with it. You do whatever the hell you gotta do. -- Jerry Seinfeld
     
  • I used to think a condom was enough protection. I'm starting to wear The Club. -- Gary Shandling
     
  • Of course, I want to have sex with teenaged girls. Doesn't everyone? That's why there's a law. What do you think, they pulled eighteen out of a hat? -- Marc Maron
     
  • I have a friend who's so into recycling, she'll only marry a man who's been married before. -- Rita Rudner
     
  • My best birth control now is to leave the lights on. -- Joan Rivers
     
  • Children must be considered in a divorce -- considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. -- P.J. O'Rourke
  • I have not had sex in almost two years, and I think once you hit two years, you automatically get your virginity back. You get to start over, and I'm about to. What is wrong with me? I don't understand. I'm just going to have to trick somebody into doing it. Use trickery. I'm going to have to cover myself with leaves and hope somebody falls in. -- Margaret Cho
  • I mean, let's face it; everyone wants a prostitute, but you want them the first day on the job. -- Kathy Griffin
     
  • The vagina is the strongest muscle in the human body. Think about it this way: A strong man can lift things like a couch, but the vagina will make you buy the couch. -- Dave Attel
     
  • Every X-rated movie should be called what it is--Shit That Never Happens to You, Ever. -- Richard Jeni
     
  • I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said no. -- Woody Allen
     
  • You spend a whole night naked with somebody with every part of your body. Doing things the Flying Wallendas wouldn't do with clothing on. And then you wake up in the morning and you won't use their toothbrush. Whaddya thinking? "Well, the sun's up; I have morals again." -- Elayne Boosler

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   Always keep in mind to:
  1. Spend less than you earn! People who spend every penny they make usually end up going broke.......
  2. Take enough risk on the money you save! Playing safe by putting your money under the mattress or in a savings account will not make you wealthy..

Remember that..... Fully one-fifth of humanity, some 1.3 billion people, struggles to survive on less than $1 per day. About 40% of humanity survives on less than $2 per day. More than a billion people around the world will go to bed hungry tonight. Life expectancy in some 32 countries is less than 40 years. If you have a few extra dollars in your pocket (you don't have to be a millionaire to make a difference), please share some of your financial good fortune with others who are in great need.


Think About It...  Being in the 'now' brings a freedom, unlike living in the past or in the future, which is a kind of imprisonment. This isn't a kind of a denial where you pretend life doesn't have problems. Life is full of problems, but most of those stresses and failures are reliving old hurts or worrying about future concerns. -- Carl Honore

When you 're diagnosed with cancer, you start to bargain with God: "Let me get through this, and I'll take better care of myself. I'll get my priorities in order. I'll learn to live every day to the fullest." Isn't it sad that you have to get sick before giving yourself permission to live life to the fullest? -- Robert Schimmel Look at Life in different & Positive ways