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Quotations on Opposite Sex

  • I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said...Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said..No..I hate myself now. -- Rodney Dangerfield
     
  • A new poll shows that 54 percent of women said they would rather have a perfect body than a genius IQ. I guess with a genius IQ, they can do whatever they want. With a perfect body, you can get somebody else to do whatever you want. -- Jay Leno
     
  • Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. -- Steve Martin
     
  • A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in. -- Mae West
     
  • Divorce comes from the old Latin word divorcerum, meaning "having your genitals torn out through your wallet." -- Robin Williams
     
  • The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough. -- Bill Maher

  • Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To us, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing, we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand are like fire. They're exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. -- Jerry Seinfeld
  • My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. -- Rodney Dangerfield
     

  • How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
     

  • I'm just a huge fan of the penis. Can I just say I just love penises? They're just the greatest. And they're all different, like snowflakes. -- Margaret Cho
     

  • My man didn't have trouble committing ... adultery. He was very unfaithful. He was cheating on me with his secretary. I'd find lipstick on his collar covered with Wite-Out. -- Wendy Liebman
     
  • Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage because you're trying to save money for when you split up your property. -- Dave Barry
     
  • I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root... and still be afraid of a spider. -- Jerry Seinfeld

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   Always keep in mind to:
  1. Spend less than you earn! People who spend every penny they make usually end up going broke.......
  2. Take enough risk on the money you save! Playing safe by putting your money under the mattress or in a savings account will not make you wealthy..

Remember that..... Fully one-fifth of humanity, some 1.3 billion people, struggles to survive on less than $1 per day. About 40% of humanity survives on less than $2 per day. More than a billion people around the world will go to bed hungry tonight. Life expectancy in some 32 countries is less than 40 years. If you have a few extra dollars in your pocket (you don't have to be a millionaire to make a difference), please share some of your financial good fortune with others who are in great need.


Think About It...  Being in the 'now' brings a freedom, unlike living in the past or in the future, which is a kind of imprisonment. This isn't a kind of a denial where you pretend life doesn't have problems. Life is full of problems, but most of those stresses and failures are reliving old hurts or worrying about future concerns. -- Carl Honore

When you 're diagnosed with cancer, you start to bargain with God: "Let me get through this, and I'll take better care of myself. I'll get my priorities in order. I'll learn to live every day to the fullest." Isn't it sad that you have to get sick before giving yourself permission to live life to the fullest? -- Robert Schimmel Look at Life in different & Positive ways