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Newspaper Guide
The Wall Street Journal is read
by the people who run the country.
The New York Times is read by
the people who think they run the country.
The Washington Post is read by
people who think they should run the country.
USA Today is read by people who
think they ought to run the country but who don't really understand the
Washington Post. However, they do like the smog statistics shown in pie
charts.
The Los Angeles Times is read by
people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare L.A. to do
it.
The Boston Globe is read by the
people whose parents used to run the country.
The New York Daily News is read
by people who aren't too sure who is running the country and don't really
care, as long as they can get a seat on the train.
The New York Post is read by
people who don't care who is running the country either, as long as they do
something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
The San Francisco Chronicle is
read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running
it. Whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for, the occasional
exceptions being if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist
dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy so
long as they are Democrats.
The Miami Herald is read by
people who are running another country but who need the baseball scores.
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