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Lessons of LIFE
Real Love
We really have to understand
the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not
love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore
the needs of the other person, we cannot love. We must look deeply in order to
see and understand the nees, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love.
This is the ground of real love. You cannot resist loving another person when
you really understand him or her.
From time to time, sit close
to the one you love, hold his or her hand, and ask, "Darling, do I understand
you enough? Or am I making you suffer? Please tell me so that I can learn to
love you properly. I don't want to make you suffer, and if I do so because of my
ignorance, please tell me so that I can love you better, so that you can be
happy." If you say this in a voice that communicates your real openness to
understand , the other person may cry. This is a good sign, because it means the
door of understanding is opening and everything will be possible again.
We need courage to ask these
questions, but if we don't ask, the more we love, the more we may destroy the
people we are trying to love. True love needs understanding. With understanding,
the one we love will certainly flower. -- Thich Nhat Hanh
The source of love is deep in us, and we can help others realize a lot of
happiness. One word, one action, or one thought can reduce another person's
suffering and bring him joy. One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy
doubt, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to
liberation. One action can save a person's life of help him take advantage of a
rare opportunity. One thought can do the same, because thoughts always lead to
words and actions. If love is in our heart, every thought, word, and deed can
bring about a miracle. Because understanding is the very foundation of love,
words and actions that emerge from our love are always helpful. -- Thich Nhat
Hanh
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