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50 More Ways To Say “I Love You”
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“The wet, fatty ball of muscle and sinew that pumps my thick, steaming
blood to all of my internal organs starts to beat irregularly when you come
into my line of sight.”
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“You are to me what Oprah is to mediocre self-help gurus.”
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"You suck! So good.”
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“If you were frozen in Carbonite and taken by bounty hunters, I’d gladly
disguise myself, infiltrate a fortress of intergalactic gangsters, threaten
them with a thermal detonator, and defrost you myself.”
- “When I was a kid I was kind of stupid and I
thought it would be fun if I stuck a fork in the wall socket and obviously
I was thrown across the room. Well, that shock that made my teeth chatter
and my hair fall out? That’s like you.”
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“We are totally codependent and I don’t want it any other way.”
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“This is the “happily ever after” part of the damn fairy tale, dig?”
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“I am valedictorian of the University of You.”
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“I’m not saying we shouldn’t see other people. I’m just saying I’ll
chase whoever you see out of town with a nail-studded baseball bat.”
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“I am your blank check. Don’t bounce me.”
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“Shut your piehole! Okay -- now kiss me with that beautiful piehole.”
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“If you were in a horrible accident and they put your head in a saline
solution-filled fish tank, I’d feed you, change your water, and carry you on
my back everyday until they built you a kick-ass robot body.”
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“Umm… like… you and me? Yeah. You and me.”
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“If I was smart, I’d follow you around like a puppy and never, ever crap
in the corner.”
- “I had the weirdest dream last night: I was waking up just as dawn was
breaking, but instead of the sun rising on the horizon, it was your glowing
face. You were smiling and glowing and it felt to good. Isn’t that just
strange? I have NO idea what that means. Pass the ketchup.”
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“You are my personal parachute.”
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“I’m a grown up and just face the facts that you’re my security
blanket.”
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“You don’t know it, but right here, right now, is the point in the
musical montage part of the movie. Let’s split a pretzel and go for a walk
on the footbridge.”
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“Not only would I die for you, I’d bitch slap Satan a good one, too.”
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“Look: you’re the only one allowed in my bunker. So go get some batteries
while I’ll clean my shotgun.”
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“I’m a junky for your instant messages.”
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"Not only would I carry you out of the factory and drive away you away
on my sweet chopper… I’d also buy you a beer and a basket of fries.”
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“You’re my best and only naked friend.”
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“I’d smoke five packs of you everyday
and welcome each and every eventual tumor.”
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“Let’s set aside cool, ironic detachment for just a moment, shall we? I
love you. Wow… wasn’t that just like lame movie Reality Bites? You’ve never
seen it? It’s awesome… in a totally stupid way.”
<<== Previous 25 ways to say "I LOVE YOU"
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