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The Cat and The Husband
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one
day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As
he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast
out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat
him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then
left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached
what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put the little bastard on the phone, I'm
lost and need directions."
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The Cat?
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up,
cat put out, etc.
The taxi arrives and as the couple go out the cat shoots back in. They
don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi
while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty, explains to
the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab: "Sorry I took so
long," he says, "stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to
poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
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The Bachelor And His Cat
A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to
Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any
emergencies.
A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off
and was killed. His friend immediately wired him with the message: "Your
cat died!"
In a few hours he was back home, having cut short his trip in grief and
anger at his friend, whom he told "Why didn't you break the news to me
gradually? You know how close I was to my cat! You could have sent a
message 'Your cat climbed up on the roof today', and the next day you
could've written, 'Your cat fell off the roof' and let me down slowly that
he died."
After a quick memorial service, the bachelor left again to continue his
trip. A few days later he returned to his hotel and there was a message
waiting for him from his friend. It read, "Your mother climbed up on the
roof today."
More Cat Jokes
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