- He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it
was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, ''Now that's addition.''
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave
the kisses back and said, ''Now that's subtraction.''
Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation. And both
together smiled and said, ''That's multiplication.''
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that
kid three blocks away and said, ''That's long division!''
- MasterCard For Men
Cover charge: $15.00
Round of drinks: $23.00
Table dance: $30.00
Another round of drinks: $23.00
Couch dance and tips: $50.00
A round of shots: $34.00
Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00
Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: priceless.
There are some things that money can't buy.
For everything else, there's
=============>>
- So this lady goes to her doctor and
explains that her husband can't get it up like he used to and their sex
life is suffering. The doctor asks, "Have you heard of a new drug named Zyban?" The lady says yes, but adds that her husband refuses to take pills
of any kind, and certainly won't take anything that "will make him feel
like less of a man." The doctor advises the woman to slip it into his
morning coffee when he isn't looking. The woman is nervous, but the doctor
insists, "it will change your life within a day," so she figures she'd
better try it.
A week goes by and the lady shows back up at the doctor's office and the
doctor asks her how it went. The lady heaves a tremendous sigh and
explains, "I snuck it into his coffee like you said. And, sure enough,
within 15 minutes, he cleared off the table, threw me on it and we had the
best sex we'd had in 20 years." Perplexed, the doctor asks, "What's wrong
with that?" And the lady shakes her head and says, "I don't think I'll be
able to show my face at McDonalds again."
- It's the year 2389, and Martian and earth
couples are living peaceably side by side. One day, an earth couple and a
Martian couple are having lunch and the subject of sex comes up. Because
the earth couple has so many questions, the couples decide to swap
partners for a week. A little later, the Martian man and the earth woman
are alone in a bedroom, getting undressed. When the Martian is naked, the
woman is surprised that his penis is only 1/2 inch long and a 1/2 inch
wide.
"Hold on," says the Martian, who slaps his face, which makes his penis
grow longer with each snap. "Oops, it's not wide enough yet." He pulls his
ears, and with each tug, his penis grows wider. "All set!" he says, and
the Martian and the woman have incredible, mind-blowing sex. Later, the
woman meets up with her husband, and asks him how it was.
"Well, it was fine. But I have a headache now because she kept pulling my
ears and slapping my face."
-
One day when the teacher walked to the
black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny
small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty
face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the
word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain
for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the
same word written on the board, and each day it was written in larger
letters.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word
on the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the
bigger it gets!"
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