|
More Jokes on Marriage, Love, Wedding,
Husband and Wife
- Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
- Married life is very frustrating. In the first year
of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and
the neighbors listen.
- When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
- A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her
husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!"
The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm
weather?"
She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
- A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned
over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a
wish, too But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
- Two women friends meet on the street, but they
haven't seen each other for years. As they are talking one women notices
that her friend has a 5 carat diamond ring, and says "My what a
magnificent ring." Her friend relies, "Yes, it is, but unfortunately it
comes with a curse. It comes with my husband!"
- Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep
before you finish.
- Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one
wife.
- One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.
- Many a man owes his success to his first wife and
his second wife to his success.
- Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma
for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he
came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said,
"You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I
got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were
there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you
gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my
side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
- I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
- A man is incomplete until he is married. After
that, he is finished.
- I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a
divorce, I keep the house.
- We in the industry know that behind every
successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
- Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
- Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are
thunder and lightning.
- If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
|
More Jokes on Marriage, Love, Wedding,
Husband and Wife ==>> Related Links:
Related
Jokes & Quotes:
|
