-
But everybody looks funny
naked!
-
You woke me up for that?
-
Did I mention the video camera?
-
Do you smell something burning?
-
(In a janitor's closet)
And they
say romance is dead...
-
Try breathing through your nose.
-
A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
-
Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
-
Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
-
But whipped cream makes me break out.
-
Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today.
-
Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
-
Can you please pass me the remote control?
-
Do you accept Visa?
-
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
-
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
-
And to think -- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
-
So much for mouth-to-mouth.
-
(Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
-
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
-
(Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
-
Do you get any premium movie channels?
-
Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
-
(Preparing to incorporate peanut butter) But I just steam-cleaned this
couch!
-
Got any penicillin?
-
But I just brushed my teeth...
-
Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
-
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
-
I want a baby!
-
So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
-
(In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
-
Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
-
Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
-
I think you have it on backwards.
-
When is this supposed to feel good?
-
Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
-
You're good enough to do this for a living!
-
Is that blood on the headboard?
-
Did I remember to take my pill?
-
Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
-
I wish we got the Playboy channel...
-
That leak better be from the waterbed!
-
I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
-
But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
-
Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
-
If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.
-
No, really... I do this part better myself!
-
It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
-
This would be more fun with a few more people.
-
You're almost as good as my ex!
-
Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
-
Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
-
You look younger than you feel.
-
Perhaps you're just out of practice.
-
You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
-
They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
-
Now I know why he/she dumped you...
-
Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
-
You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
-
What tampon?
-
Have you ever considered liposuction?
-
And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
-
What are you planning to make for breakfast?
-
I have a confession...
-
I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
-
Are those real or am I just behind the times?
-
Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
-
Is that a hanging sculpture?
-
You'll still vote for me, won't you?
-
Did I mention my transsexual operation?
-
I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
-
Did you come yet, dear?
-
I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're
fantasizing about...
-
A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
-
Does this count as a date?
-
Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
-
Hic! I need another beer for this please.
-
I think biting is romantic -- don't you?
-
You can cook, too right?
-
When would you like to meet my parents?
-
Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like... Woman:
Yourself?
-
Have you seen ''Fatal Attraction''?
-
Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
-
Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
-
(In a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
-
I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
-
Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
-
Sorry but I don't do toes!
-
You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
-
Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
-
Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
-
I'll bet you didn't know I work for ''The Enquirer''.
-
So that's why they call you Mr. Flash!
-
My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
-
Is this a sin too?
-
I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
-
Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
-
Long kisses clog my sinuses...
-
Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
-
How long do you plan to be ''almost there''?
-
You mean you're NOT my blind date?
