-
There were two cars at the end of the exit ramp but the first driver
was too timid to bled into the flow of the traffic. Opportunity after
opportunity passed by, and cars piled up on the ramp. Finally, the driver
moved, an exasperated motorist at the end of the line yelled, "The sign
says yield, not surrender!"
-
A man was trying
to get a driving license and as a proof he brought his birth certificate.
The clerk picked up his birth certificate and gave it a good, long look.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "I
can't find the expiration date.
- Michelle was getting into her car when she noticed a dent. On the
windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver.
"I feel
terrible," the woman apologized when she called. "I hit your car as I was
pulling into the next parking spot."
"Please, don't worry," Michelle said to her "I'm sure our insurance
companies will take care of everything."
"Thank you for your understanding," she said. "You're so much nicer than
the man I hit on the way out."
-
At a nursing home in
Miami, Florida, a group of Senior Citizens were sitting around talking about
their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said
one. "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied
another. "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a
third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," ... another went on. "I guess that's
the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his
head. Then there was a short moment of silence.. "Well, it's not that bad," said
one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive."
-
Three men get
drunk and wake up in jail to learn they will be executed. The first man
put in the electric chair is asked for his last words. "I'm from Yale
Divinity School, and believe in the power of God to intervene on behalf of
the innocent." The switch is thrown, but nothing happens. The jailers
figure God wants the man alive and let him go.
The second man is strapped in. "I'm from Harvard Law School, and believe
in the power of justice to intervene on behalf of the innocent." The
switch is thrown; again, nothing. The jailers think the law is on this
man's side, so they let him go. The last man says "Well, I'm an electrical
engineer from MIT, and you're not electrocuting anybody if you don't
connect those two loose wires down there."
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