-
Deja moo: The
feeling that you've heard this bull before.
-
A worried new mother went to the psychiatrist.
"Doctor," she said, "Since I had the baby I can't sleep at night. When I'm
in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won't hear the baby if
he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?"
"Easy," said the doctor. "Just take the carpet off the floor."
-
A man comes into a bank with a rather large dog on a leash. When he
asked if it was okay to bring his pet into the building, a bank official
answered, "Yes, Providing he doesn't make a deposit."
-
Two cows are
standing next to each other in the field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true," exclaimed Daisy, "No bull."
-
Two men were sitting in a doctor’s office. “What are you in here for?”
asked one.
“Circumcision,” came the reply.
“I had one of those done the day after I was born,” the first man
commented.
“Afterward I couldn’t walk for a year.”
-
A cowboy rode into town
and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a
habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he
found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his
gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot
into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled
with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse aint' back outside by the
time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do
what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another
beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up
and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and
asked, "Say partner, before you go...what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
-
Jesus saw a crowd
chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here,
anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!"
one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the
side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
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